grandparents and the boys of summer, part 1

I haven't written a post for a long time.  It seems one thing after another has occupied my time - many pleasant or wonderful or necessary things, but nothing that I've felt compelled to share.  My summer occupation is something that might be of interest, however. 
Owing to various circumstances, we end up having two of my younger grandsons here for a good portion of the summer.  These are the boys, Marcus and Ethan, who moved away in January.  I have missed them terribly. We thought they'd come to visit us for a few weeks, but that has been extended.  And that comes with challenges.

I feel my age.  When you're young, you have energy for the non stop activity that is common to a 5 year old. At 71, not so much. I've tried to establish some built in rest periods in the afternoons - an hour when everyone needs to be quiet.  They can read, play with legos, take a nap - but no electronics, no movies. Once I've had this time to myself, I'm better able to handle the uptick of evening energy expenditures that seems to go on from 5 to 9:30 pm.

I am lonely.  My friends do not have young children.  Our socialization does not take place around kid activities. I feel cut off from many of the friends and events that nourish me.  I try to involve the kids in some of the things that are important to me - going to art exhibits that they might also like, exploring the natural world, visiting with friends who do enjoy kids. I do my meditations in short intervals - 5 minutes here, a 20 minute walking time there. Sometimes Al takes the boys out to a park for a few hours and then I get cleaning and a quiet meditation in. I am experimenting. I am remembering how it was to try to exercise and meditate and satisfy some of my needs when I was a young mother.  And I try to use these memories to increase my compassion for parents everywhere.

I find myself being envious - I think of people who have money to send their grandchildren to wonderful camps, who take fabulous vacations around the world, who might have things "easier".  But, of course, the minute you go there, if you are at all aware of anything, you have to get yourself off the damn pity pot to remember that you are very privileged.

These boys, and all of our grandchildren, are the loves of our lives.  We are very lucky. Some live close by. These two who are living away are here for a couple of months. How can we enjoy this gift?

That is the question that needs an answer now. I want to live into these days in a way that doesn't wish any of them away, but wants to be absolutely grateful for this precious time.

If you have any similar experiences and thoughts and insights - I would welcome them!

peacocks, salamanders, and grandkids

Al and I took Marcus and Landen to the Catskills for three days this week.  We found a little motel near Belleayre Lake where there's a nice beach and anticipated some fun days in the sun swimming and looking for tadpoles and salamanders.  But right off, plans had to change since the first day there were heavy thunderstorms forecast.  We decided to take our time getting over to Pine Hill and stopped at the Forsythe Nature Center in Kingston on the way.

Perhaps we should have taken a clue from the loud boisterous cry of the peacocks on arrival.  The birds  went into full display - the boys were fascinated.  They also loved the beautiful turtles and tortoises, the baby ducks, the rabbits and the pot bellied pig.  But it was peacock behavior that seemed to predominate over our time away.

Once we settled into our motel and they had a chance to explore their environs they delighted in the grounds and set up camp in the screen house in back.  But they also quickly started competitions that lasted the whole trip: who gets the lawn chair near nana, who gets more green m&ms on their cookie, who can get to the bathroom first, etc. We got through the first day in pretty good shape.

 But the next day deteriorated.  The weather was miserable.  It was rainy, drizzly and chilly.  Couldn't go swimming.  And it wasn't really inviting to go hiking since they'd just get cold and wet and there was no way to dry out all the clothes and shoes.  We hadn't expected ALL the rain - so we didn't take boots and other rain gear.  But we did have nets and containers so decided to go to one pond where we've always had good luck finding salamanders and tadpoles.  We figured we'd get wet, but then come home and dry out.  We lasted about half an hour there - I was only able to catch one salamander for them.  Which they fought over. Most of the day was spent in the motel, playing video games and looking up salamanders, newts, and dinosaurs on my Ipad.

Eastern Salamander

The third day dawned with gorgeous sunny skies - still too chilly for swimming so we decided to pack up and hike a trail that leads to some beautiful little water falls.  The boys were enthusiastic and hoped to find some salamanders along the trail.  But they jockeyed to be the leader, took some tumbles, and couldn't stop vying for favored status in their own peculiar little ways.  Perhaps they were a little homesick, but while they usually get along really well, this trip, they just couldn't stop bickering.  Their sweeter sides were as hidden as the salamanders they so wanted to find.

There were some tender moments - a time when Landen said he wanted to sit next to Marcus because he loved him; a time when Marcus, when asked what the best part of the trip was, said "just all of us being together".

The pictures will show a wonderful time was had by all.  And while I won't romanticize it and say it was all rosy, I hope that what will remain in memory are those funny and tender moments when we really were just happy to be together.